Well Bottom Blues

I have known all the factes of what the ancient Greeks meant by mania: inspired frenz,y mad passion, a word related to seer. Poetry is, for me, not just an avocation or a talent or a study; it is posesion by a force older than humanity or how else to explain the creation of the mating display and dance of birds? It is desgarro of erupting Duende in the cantaor of Flamenco. It is being mounted by the loa of poetry.

I stand in a long line of poets scholarship traced back as far as Byron There is an excellent book on the subject: Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament by Kay Redfield Jamison. It is a fine lineage that contains many of my favorite poets, but many of them did not end well.

I was cured of this once, sacrificing myself to myself after the manner of Odin, but I did not receive wisdom. I lost the ability to write poetry or even the interest in reading it. The medical response to bipolar was an atypical antipsychotic. I think it was the sort of thing Nurse Ratchet was handing out in the day room.

Once I was past my Tom O’ Bedlam stage, I determined to get off the meds. It is not easy to control a demon once it enters your life wether by fate or deliberate invitation. I have learned to mostly give him free reign only to entertain me with his inspiration for poetry.

It is a struggle but I’m not about to jump off the Washington Avenue Bridge or vanish into some dark commerce inthe Congo. Like those who would call up a spirit to serve them I read and I study and I practice until I can contain it within the circle and have it dance at my command.